For the Chinese culture, this calendar year represents a snake. It also represents a time for change, renewal and self-discovery. Change usually causes fear and uncertainty but as Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher said, "change is the only constant in life". For this reason, we should feel more comfortable with change, but that is not the reality. Many people avoid change to avoid the unknown but, when we change what doesn't work for us, we renew ourselves and by doing that, we start discovering who we really are.
Change is not easy, but many times it is necessary. When we change, we let go the things that are familiar to us to try something new. When we change, we step outside of our comfort zone and that can be scary. Unconsciously, our mind wants to keep us safe by staying where we are. The problem with staying in the safe zone might result in lack of growth, potential stagnation, and maybe even suffering.
Our mind rather suffer than live the uncertainty because the mind doesn't know if what is uncertain is safe.
Usually, we look for change when we feel some kind of discomfort or suffering. We look for change when things are not working the way we want, when we are not happy, when we are not getting the results we are looking for, or when we are bored and need some excitement in our lives. Unfortunately, we don't always start the change because changing means moving into the unknown. What we forget is that change is the only way to get out of the discomfort or suffering we are feeling. Change is the only way to find what we have not found yet. The change can be physical, emotional or mental.
Changing consciously
When we consciously look for change despite the uncertainty and fear, we get in the path of renewal and self-discovery. For example: Someone who is not happy in their current job and they start a job search to find something that suits them better. As a result, the person would feel capable, excited, confident, and happy.
Changing unconsciously
On the opposite, when we know we need a change but we are too afraid to take the first step, sometimes life takes the lead and changes something around us so we are forced to move and change. For example: Someone who is not happy in their current job but are resistant to change because they have been doing the same job for a long time and they don't want to start a new job at their age. The company they work for is eliminating positions. Their position is on the list and they see themselves forced to go out and find a new job. As mentioned before, this change might be more painful and traumatic than when the person takes the lead.
Consciously avoiding change
It can also happen that even when a change is needed, neither the person or life makes the first move. The person consciously decides to remain in the physical, mental or emotional position for fear of the unknown despite feeling discomfort, pain, stress, or suffering. In this case, not changing can be detrimental to physical or mental health.
If this Chinese year is characterized by change, renewal and self-discovery, why not taking advantage of this ancient wisdom and jump on the ride? Everybody would need to identify what parts of their lives need a change.
But, how do we do that? You can start by answering the questions below. If you answer yes to any of the first three questions, that is where you need to start.
- Is there a part of your life where you feel unhappy?
- Do you feel discomfort in your life?
- Do you feel stuck?
- What areas of your life cause you suffering?
You can change the things you do, the words you use, how you feel and what you think. You can't change others. When you decide to start changing things to make things better, you can expect renewal and getting to know yourself better. Focus on the learning that will come with the change, not in the fear. Focus on the positive and know your options. Assess. Jump. Find yourself. Be happy.
The obstacles, challenges and stressful situations are part of life, but you have the option to change things for the better. If you need guidance on taking the first steps to change, feel free to contact me. I will be happy to talk to you.