Even though we cannot comprehend why we experience certain situations, we go through them doing the best we can to emerge stronger on the other side.
There is no doubt that some people go through the downs of life in peace and with less pain than others. Let me be clear, I am not talking about monks or highly spiritual people. I am talking about regular people like you and me. So, how do they do it? These people know they have two options: to take the role of a hero or take the role of the victim. They know they have the option to choose. They can be the hero of their own story by riding along with life and going with the flow. Heroes suffer less than victims.
So, how do you become a hero? First, it is important to remember that you have free will to decide which role to take. It is more simple than it looks.
When we go through a difficult time, our subconscious mind can make us fall into the victim's role. We find ourselves suffering because of a problem or a situation and asking ourselves questions like: "Why is this happening to me?", "What have I done wrong?", "Why do I deserve this?", etc. We also look for someone to blame and tell ourselves stories like, "I am so miserable, nobody loves me, life is against me," etc.
The victim's role is not the only option available. Even when our subconscious mind chooses to be a victim, we still have the option to turn into a hero once we realize we are taking the victim's role.
As with everything in life, if you want to get good at something, you must have the intention to be better and practice. So, if you tend to take the victim's role, you must realize it before you can choose to change roles and be the hero.
Heroes make a different type of question when they are going through a difficult situation, which helps them suffer less. They understand that they have a say in how they think, feel, and behave. It is a choice. They also understand that they are not at the mercy of others but are in control of their own lives and that they can do something about the situation.
The type of questions heroes ask are things like: "What can I learn from this experience?", "What could I have done differently?", "What is under my control and what isn't?", "Where is my feeling coming from?", "How can I add more love to the situation?"
These are questions that need to be answered in order to have a better understanding of a situation and suffer less. When we become conscious of what we are going through, we learn about ourselves and love ourselves more. We also process our emotions better and can navigate the situation like a hero. With more consciousness, less suffering.
Now, the next time you go through a difficult situation, what role will you choose?