Today, I want to share with you something I have been putting some attention to lately. It is about Attachment. Attachment has been part of our lives since we were little. Growing up with your family, you probably felt attached to your mom or your dad, or to one of your siblings. If the attachment was with a physical object you probably had an object that you carried around with you, a pillow, a stuffed animal, a blanket that your parents made the impossible for you to let go at a certain age. As you grew older, maybe you had a pair of pants that were your favorite and didn't want to let go. Perhaps, you had a friend with which you did everything together. Attachments can also happen to feelings. All of these are examples of attachments that I could think of.
I first learned about the concept of attachment in one of my classes. I noticed I had attachments that were not adding anything good to my life. I learned that when we are attached to something we create dependency. For example, when we stop doing the things we like because we don't have somebody to do it with us. When it comes to attachment to physical objects, our life starts to get cluttered because we have too many things and we can't let go. We believe that objects are part of our lives, and that is one of the reasons why it is so difficult to let them go.
When I started analyzing why I didn't want to get rid of things in my life, I realized that I felt they were part of me. They were part of my history. But, were they really? I noticed I had too many things I wasn't even using or looking at. I had even forgotten I had them! I think forgetting about things we stored somewhere is something that has happened to everyone. So why are we attached to things we don't use? Maybe because we think we will use them again? And what about those things we don't even remember we had them? In my mind, objects are attached to memories and memories live in our brain and our heart. I decided I didn't want to carry my memories around in boxes and bags.
We can also be attached to old feelings. Maybe we had a situation with one of our relatives, friends or family at certain point in our lives and we felt hurt or betrayed. When we get attached to feelings that happened long ago, or that happened recently, we suffer. Still, we feel we can't let go.
I started asking myself what attachments I had and how were they affecting my life. I began by separating memories from objects. I realized I was the same person with or without the object and I that the object didn't define who I am. Gratitude helped me break the dependency.
When I looked into the feelings or emotions I was attached to, I was surprised of how many attachments I had! I noticed they caused me pain and decided to let them go, one attachment at a time. Working with gratitude and understanding that each person I meet or met in my life was there to teach me and help me grow as a person. Releasing attachments to feeling that were not serving me made room for more love in my life. Attachments can end up cluttering our house, our minds and our lives if we don't take care of them.
I think everything can be done in moderation. If we want to keep a few things because they are super special to us, it is ok. The problem starts when those few things turn into boxes and storage space. It is also important to notice that when we create dependency with people and stop doing things just because the other person can't tag along, we can develop feelings of resentment and anger. It is not the same when children are attached to their parents. With time, children will learn (in many cases) to detach and become independent people, but in adulthood, attachments make less sense to me.
When I started breaking the attachments, I started healing. I donated, trashed, and relocated stuff I had accumulated and my life freed up. With less attachments I felt lighter and happier! Less stress too!
So, I want to post you this question: How are attachments affecting your life? If you really want to know, it is necessary that you make a stop to think about it.
Here are some questions to help you determine if attachments are in fact affecting your life.
- Do you have stuff in boxes around your house? If so, do you know what is in those boxes?
- Is it challenging to walk in your closet because there is stuff everywhere and you can't find anything?
- When was the last time you decluttered your house?
- Do you know where everything is in your house?
- When was the last time you went somewhere you wanted even when you didn't have someone to go with?
- Do you feel you have a feeling or emotion of low vibration (anger, guilt, jealousy, hate, etc.) that you are attached to?
I hope this exercise helps you feel more free, happier, lighter and with less stress!