The power of expressing emotions.
Emotions are part of being human. We are supposed to feel and express all the different emotions in our day to day life. Throughout time and based on the different cultures and customs, expressing emotions has been seen as weakness for some, which has forced people to suppress their emotions not knowing the damage it can cause to their body and their health as a consequence.
In other instances, not knowing how to manage an emotion can lead people to overreact and even make bad decisions. Overreacting happens when you feel angry, frustrated, sad, hurt or stressed and you let it all out with your family, friends or co-workers. You end up saying things you don't want to say, maybe screaming or breaking one or two things around you.
When you get stuck in an emotion that has not been properly managed, you can act impulsively and make bad decisions that you will later regret. A poorly managed emotion is considered a negative emotion. A negative emotion doesn't allow you to think, listen or see the things for how they are and not for how you see them.
As we can see, neither suppressing an emotion nor reacting to an emotion can lead to any good. The best we can do is to process the emotion in a way that we leave the situation with some kind of learning about ourselves.
The first step is to acknowledge if you have been suppressing or overreacting to situations. If that is your case, try to apply some of the following recommendations. I am not promising you that you won't suffer at all, remember that life has a little bit of everything. What I can tell you is that you will feel stronger and more confident to deal with whatever comes your way.
- Take a step back. Before letting all your anger and frustration out with other people, stop and assess. Why are you feeling the way you are? Let's say for example that you got mad at somebody in traffic because they didn't pass the yellow light and you are in a hurry. In that situation, one usually only sees that because of the other person you will be late. If you decide to curse that person out and go around and pass the yellow light (that will be in red at that point), you could be causing an accident. In this case, it was easy to blame others but in reality, you got yourself late, not the other person.
- Apply active listening. Sometimes we don't listen what others have to say if we have a negative emotion controlling us. If you get into an argument with your partner, listen and ask questions to understand the situation better. Then express how you feel and why.
- Find a safe space. If you need time to process an emotion, don't argue, don't make decisions. Find a safe space where you can assess what happened and go back whenever you are more calm.
- Talk to someone who won't judge you or write things down. If you cannot express an emotion at the moment of the event for any reason, don't let it all in. Find someone to talk to. Someone that will listen without wanting to give you solutions. If you don't know a person like that, then write it down. Vocalizing or writing down our emotions can help us process them.
- Practice compassion. Understanding the we are humans doing the best we can in this life can help you realize that people have their own battles to fight and that some battles are worse than others, including yours. Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
Life can be challenging at times, but when you learn to manage your emotions, you have more tools to live the life you want for yourself.