Some say that the mind can't be still. Others say that you can train your mind to be still. I think both are, in a way, correct. Our mind is designed to think and to process thoughts 24/7. In one day, a person can process more than 60,000 thoughts. Did you know that from those 60,000 thoughts, 95% are repetitive? Yes, we continue to think the same things over and over. And did you know that 80% of the thoughts are negative? It is shocking, isn't it! According to the National Science Foundation, our mind mostly process repetitive and negative thoughts.
What we think affect our emotions. If we have positive thoughts, we feel happier because our thoughts and feelings determine how we see life. If our thoughts are mostly negative, we will feel unhappy and maybe a victim of any situation you experience. Based on this information, we should be paying more attention to what we think.
I strongly believe that we can train our mind to replace negative thoughts with more positive and loving ones and actually see a change in our lives. Although our mind can't be still, we can train the mind to be calm. When we calm down our mind, we make space for new ideas and dreams, and we can focus better on the things we do. You might think this is not possible but, you won't know until you try.
We are not talking about denying our experiences and repeating positive things to forget or fakely cover what we feel. We need to acknowledge how we feel in the moment, but instead of becoming a victim of the situation, become a master of your life. It takes the same effort to take a situation as a learning experience than making it feel like a punishment and not taking responsibility.
When you think of a difficult situation you went through in the past, your body can feel as if that situation was happening again. Your mind is controlling the emotion and by thinking about the hurtful situation and remembering how you felt, you experience the emotion again. Your body doesn't know if it is happening again for real. As far as the body is concerned, if the brain brings it up along with the emotion, it is happening. If the situation you are thinking about brought you pain, you suffer again. If you repeat the thought day after day, you continue to suffer, unless you change your thoughts.
How and when are our thoughts going to stop hurting us? And, how do we train our mind to think in a different way and don't get stuck in a thought that causes us pain?
We don't forget our experiences but we can remember them and think about them in a different way. First, we need to understand that whatever happened in the past is long gone and we cannot change it. If we have thoughts that make us suffer, it means that we have to change our thoughts.
Changing thoughts requires you to place a different thought in your mind. For example, if you had a definite breakup with someone and your thoughts are that you were not enough for that person, that you didn't deserve to be happy, etc., it is time to tell yourself a different story. Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. For example, think that the person was not the right person for you (because he/she wasn't), or that you deserve to be with someone who accepts you for who you are (because this is true). You can also identify the positive of the situation and focus on it. Maybe the break up helped you connect better with yourself, or the break up allowed you to get closer to your friends, etc. Can you see how just using different words you automatically start to feel better?
If the thoughts that are making you suffer are about things in the future, it is important to understand that nobody knows what the future holds and thinking about something that might happen is a waste of your time and energy. In the same way as with thoughts that come from the past, we need to change the thoughts about the future to stop the unnecessary suffering.
None of what we have mentioned before will work if you don't first recognize what types of thoughts you repeat. Be aware. When you notice a negative thought popping in your head, stop it. Change the thought. The situation won't change but you can change what you think of it.
You need to practice paying attention to your thoughts. Paying attention is the first step before you can change your thoughts. It is going to be a challenge but you can do it. Be consistent. Don't give up. Some days will be better than others.
There is more than just changing our thoughts to change our lives for the better, but by focusing on the positive, you start taking small steps to feeling better and seeing your life in a new, more empowering and happier way. At the end, it takes the same energy to put a negative thought in your mind than putting a positive thought. The results are completely different. Which one do you choose?